*Deanie Vallone*
Italian People are Crazy
This weekend my mom, Sydney, and I decided to go to the Italian Community Center for their annual Taste of Italy. Basically it’s where you get to sample all these delicious Italian foods.
Well, have you ever seen the movie Finding Nemo with all those crazy seagulls that yell “Mine! Mine!” when they see a scrap of food. Yeah, that’s what this event was like.
There were about 6 million people there and they were all jostling each other for the food like they hadn’t eaten in a year. I got knocked into a chair, had my feet stepped on, and got cursed at by a ninety year old lady with a walker. No joke. Then my sister got yelled at by two women who apparently thought she skipped them in the meatball sandwich line. The whole thing was crazy. We had to fight off people just to get a table!
All in all, the whole event was an experience. I’ve gone before, but this was the first year I feared for my life. All the chaos was worth it once I got my food. And the food, oh my God, was amazing. Definitely worth a few bruises.
Little Life Lesson #17: Don’t mess with Italian people when food is on the line. (Isn’t that a line from The Princess Bride? Oh, no, wait that’s “Don’t mess with a Sicilian when death is on the line.” Well, that’s advisable too. We do have the Mafia.)
5 months agoBORING!
The only reason I take notes during my New Testament class is so I don’t die of boredom. I don’t need to take notes. We don’t have quizzes or tests, but I’m pretty sure if I didn’t focus my attention on something my eyeballs would fall out of my head. 5 months agoummmm....okay
Today while driving to Target I stopped at a stop sign. And while paused, I decided to glance around the area I was in. And in glancing around I saw an overweight man who was probably in his 40s unzip his pants, pull his pants down some, tuck in his shirt, pull up his pants, and zip them again. All while he was crossing the street. Ummmm….okay. Creepy.
Little Life Lesson #16: Some people are just one step away from being arrested for indecent exposure.
5 months agoYou know a horror movie has done its job when...
#1: You spend pretty much the entire movie peering out between your fingers.
#2: Your heart is pounding like you just ran fifty miles.
#3: You jump ten feet in the air when a cell phone goes off in the middle of the movie.
#4: When the movie is over you are actually physically exhausted because you were tensed up the entire time.
Little Life Lesson #15: You want to be scared out of your mind? Watch Guillermo del Toro’s El Orfanato. Seriously. Terrifying.
5 months ago
I was going to have a very cute video of Colin here, but alas, it would have taken over an hour to upload and I’m lazy. Instead I have this cute picture I took at the concert last night (sorry it’s a little blurry). And if you’re wondering about the concert, it was fabulous. Some things to note:
The People: including the couple in front of me who wouldn’t stop drinking/whispering/nuzzling/kissing, a girl who looked exactly EXACTLY like Megan Czaplewski (only like 5 years younger), a 7’ 4” guy (Megan lookin’ ass’ father we think), a 1 year old in pajamas who will probably be emo by the time he’s 5, and a bunch of annoying people four rows in front of us who kept getting up in the middle of the show.
The Songs: Most of them were ones I hadn’t heard before, which was cool. One adorable one was called “Wonder” and Colin wrote it when he found out his girlfriend was pregnant. Really cute. He played a couple Decemberists songs, though, including the rollicking “A Cautionary Tale” (surprising how excited everyone got for a depressing song about an abused prostitute).
Colin: Thank God he was one of those few people who sound just as good live as they do recorded. Also quite a funny guy. I also learned a few things about him: a) He voted Obama, b) He apparently had rheumatism but it was cured by some magical quartz he got in Georgia, and c) He likes hummus. A lot. Like, seriously, a lot.
All in all, it was a lovely night, even if we did have to wait an extra hour before he came onstage and had to clap for fifteen years before he would come out and do an encore. Now I’m just waiting for the Decemberists to make a new CD so I can see them on tour. :)
5 months agoA Decemberists Reflection
Joyous day! Today I get to go see Colin Meloy in concert! For all of you who don’t know and didn’t read my very first post, CM is the lead singer of the fabulous folk-alternative band, The Decemberists. They’re an amazing band, and Colin has an amazing voice. He is the only songwriter I know who can rhyme “legionnaire” and “frigidaire” and make songs about murder and revenge so much fun to sing! In honor of this exciting event, I am including my Top 12 Decemberists Songs (in no particular order).
#1: “The Mariner’s Revenge Song” So much fun to sing along with and who doesn’t love a song that has people being eaten by a giant whale?
#2: “16 Military Wives” First song I ever heard by them and I fell in love. Makes a nice, bold political statement and it’s very catchy (aren’t they all?)
#3: “The Legionnaire’s Lament” I sing this so much, it drives my mom crazy. Just has a really nice beat and refrain.
#4: “Summersong” Pretty and sad and strange. Very lovely.
#5: “The Island: Come & See, The Landlord’s Daughter, You’ll Not Feel the Drowning” This is a bit of cheating because it’s actually 3 or 4 songs rolled into one, but really it’s fabulous. Very deep and scary and sad, but beautiful.
#6: “July, July!” Really crazy fun song that reminds me of family get-togethers.
#7: “The Crane Wife 3” Really beautiful song. Gives me chills. (The Crane Wife 1 & 2 is amazing as well.)
#8: “Odalisque” Dark and beautiful (are you seeing a pattern here?) and kind of sad and creepy—very Decemberists-esque. :)
#9: “Yankee Bayonet (I Will Be Home Then)” Beautiful song about war. A duet, actually, and the two voices are wonderful together.
#10: “The Engine Driver” Just a great image and storytelling.
#11: “Leslie Anne Levine” A sort of ghost story. Sad and angry and brilliant.
#12: “We Both Go Down Together” A supposed prequel to “Leslie Anne Levine” I’ve heard. Amazing violins in this one. The storyline (espeically when connected with LAL) really makes you think.
It was really hard for me to pick 12 song because I love them all so so so so so much. But if I had to pick twelve to listen to only, these would be them. Of course, I haven’t heard every single one of The Decemberists songs so it’s hard to say, but so far, these are my loves.
5 months agokinda scary
Today while looking at Pieces of Flair on Facebook, my computer started to chirp. Yes, chirp. Basically I was like, “WTF! Are there some crickets behind my laptop? Has a baby bird hatched in my speakers?” About thirty seconds later it stopped and it hasn’t started again.
Little Life Lesson #14: Just when you think your computer can’t get any more messed up, it starts to make noises like some freaky insect-bird hybrid.
5 months agoI Love Sendik's!
Today was Sendik’s 100th Anniversary Sale or something which meant there were 3,000,000 people there and about 3,000,000 samples. I tried: BBQ shredded pork, lemon ice cream, espresso, salsa and chips, cheese and beef jerkey, chicken-broccoli pasta, spinach ravioli, tomato sauce, fresh baked bread, and cucumbers. Basically, I got free lunch. It was fabulous.
Little Life Lesson #13: If you ever happen to be really hungry, but lacking money (aka if you’re a hobo or a college student) visit Sendik’s for some free snacks!
5 months agoMy Family Says the Darndest Things
Uncle Tony: I’ve never been to the hospital except for when I’ve been stabbed or shot.
Me: Does this happen a lot?
Uncle Tony: Just in my younger years.
…
Uncle Tony: When’s Johnny’s birthday?
Aunt Renee: May 25th.
Uncle Tony: He’s having another birthday?
Aunt Renee: Every year he has a birthday. It’s outrageous.
…
Sierra: I made gay pride frosting for my cake.
…
[Upon seeing a bunch of unknown kids outside my aunt’s house.]
Mom: What is this, the local orphanage? Who are these hoodlums on the front lawn?
…
Little Random Boy Outside of the House: What’s that in that pot you’re carrying?
Me: Shredded beef.
Random Boy: Ooo! I want some!
Me: Well, go inside and get a bun.
Random Boy: I’m not allowed inside.
Me: What, are you not housebroken yet?
Random Boy: I wasn’t invited to the party.
Me: Well, would you like to just hold out your hands and I can put some beef in them?
Random Boy: No, that’s okay. My hands kinda smell.
Me: Too bad.
5 months agototally random conversation
Me: I have to go pick up Dr. Who Season 1 from the library.
Mom: Why don’t you just pick it up tomorrow on our way to Dawn’s house?
Me: I don’t want it sitting in the car while we’re there.
Mom: It’s not going to be hot out.
Me: No, I know. I just don’t want someone to steal it.
Mom: At Dawn’s house? They live in the middle of nowhere.
Me: There are a lot of hooligans around there.
Mom: That is true. Dawn told me that story about the kid walking down the street with the shotgun.
Me: See!
Glenn: Who would steal Dr. Who DVDs?
Me: I didn’t mean the DVDs. But what if the stole the car where the DVDs were?
Glenn: But if they had the choice between the car and Dr. Who…
Me: No, there is no choice. They would take both because the Dr. Who is in the car.
Glenn: But if the police were coming, and they had to choose…
Me: Why would they choose? They could just take the car and have the car and the DVDs.
Glenn: But if you were in the car…
Me: Why would I be in the car?! I would be in the house. The hooligans are stealing the car while I’m in the house and then they would have Dr. Who Season 1 as well!
Glenn: But…
Me: Are we actually having this conversation?
Little Life Lesson #12: Never pretend to know what hooligans are thinking. They may love Dr. Who and want desperately to get their hands on Season 1. Also, don’t expect Glenn to understand anything I’m talking about, or to give up when it’s obvious he’s losing a pointless argument.
5 months ago